Here is a special little story from the twisted mind of LOSTie, Darren Osborne, that I thought bore repeating. Recall his report (scroll down a few stories) from his hilarious trip to Australia a couple of weeks ago, if you liked that one, you’ll like this one!
Cheers,
Rob
Dave and I and Brett were all ready to go to the buoy and then Madhu was all – trust me, it looks good here but out there on the open seas it will be rough. We will have trouble getting back. With no support and the warning from Madhu, we swam along the shore.
Just imagine….
We get to the bouy just as darkness sets in and a we notice a Greenland Shark circling our location. The shark must have overheard my discussion with Alan Gow in Australia when he told me dusk can be king of “sharky.” Just as the shark comes in for Brett, a bull shark, who was still in town for Shark Week rams the Greenland Shark and the two get into a huge shark fight. Some national geographic photographers who were following the Bull Shark cruise up to our location. They are accompanied by an “in the news” starlet hoping to narrate a nature documentary and erase the shame TMZ inflicted on her when she was caught naked and drunk at some famous LA nightclub. They shoot the footage of the shark fight with us prominently in the foreground. We go on the talk show circuit and are turn out to be a huge hit with focus groups who love the wetsuits and orange pull-bouys. We are discovered by an action movie director and we go on to make buddy cop dramas where the cops are always
swimming around Santa Monica and keep finding bodies in the ocean. We call the show, CSI – H20. There is a move that starts with the sequel, CSI-H2O2: The Case of the Peroxide Blonde. Brett and I are the cops, David is the forensic scientist and Madhu is the sergeant who keeps yelling at David and I to “stay inside the markers”. We shoot the whole show in our wetsuits. The formulaic content of the show is hot for about two years, by which time the four of us have developed very bad and expensive habits. The show finally flops and with no way to support ourselves we go on a crime spree and die in a haze of bullets. It turns out we were easy to spot with the orange pull-buoys still attached.
So, Alex and Madhu, you guys saved our lives.
Darren Osborne